Pirates of the Caribbean Questionnaire
by Talvana
Summary: Send in questions to the characters of POTC threw reviews and they shall be answered!
1. Intro

**I do not own Pirates of the Caribbean…but I will own **_**CAPTAIN**_** Jack Sparrow one day! In fact I already do.**

**The Super Amazing Pirates of the Caribbean Questionnaire**

Needless to say, this is a questionnaire; and congratulations to the people of planet Earth, for you have been chosen to behold this amazing questionnaire.

_BEHOLD IT ALREADY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!_

Now that you are beholding it, I need questions! They can be directed to just one or many or all characters from Pirates of the Caribbean. So send in questions threw reviews and they will be answered.

How? You may ask?

How else do ya think?!?! I jumped into the POTC world and kidnapped everyone! Geez! People just don't think anymore.

In case you would like to know how, well, of course I just had to hand Jack a few bottles of rum with sleeping juice in it. That was easy. Will and Elizabeth wanted to see each other again so since I could work that out, after I got Bootstrap to take over the Dutchman temporarily, it was easy.

So anyway, any questions are welcome. (And even though Bootstrap is busy, he can still answer questions.) So send reviews or I shall sick multiple numbers of Jacks on you! Chicken-Jack, Peanut loving-Jack, and all the others!

YO HO!


	2. The 1st Five Questions

**A/N: Tassel630, since you don't get the concept of this fanfic, I'll explain again. If you have a question for a POTC character, ask in a review. So, now that I cleared that up for you, let's get to the questions.**

_Question from Tassel630 to Captain Jack Sparrow_ – "Can I hit you with a crowbar? Or at least slap you?"

_Jack_: Do you honestly think it's wise to cross crowbars with a pirate…and I don't think I deserve another one.

_Question from demon barber xx to Captain Jack Sparrow_ – "Can I have a magnificent "garden" cough, cough party in your pants?"

_Jack_: Did you not hear me the first time. "You're not invited."

_Question from the-american-hockey-girl to Captain Jack Sparrow_ – "You. Ana. Spill."

_Jack_: Uh…nothing. looks left and right I…uh…just needed a boat. smiles sheepishly

_Question from the-american-hockey-girl to Captain William Turner_ – "If Elizabeth dies what will you do?"

_Will_: She'll live aboard the Dutchman with me. And as far as our son goes…oh god! Let's not go into that. Our only plan isn't the best.

_Question from the-american-hockey-girl to Elizabeth Turner_ – "How did you get so good at sword fighting in under a year?"

_Elizabeth_: Even though he was drunk, Jack showed me quite a few things that night on the island that I found useful.

**A/N: Well, hope that those answers are satisfactory. Great questions everyone. Big thanks to all! Keep sending in reviews! I need them because I enjoy writing this and I can't do that without you guys! Help me out!**


	3. Four more Quesitons!

**A/N: WOW! I just posted the 2****nd**** chapter of this fic like, three hours ago and I'm already typing the next one. Thanks everyone!!!!**

_The following four questions are all from Wicked R_:

_To Captain Jack Sparrow_ - "what would you do if suddenly there was no rum on any corner of the earth?"

_Jack_: (not really paying attention, turns head suddenly) what? I heard the word rum. I like rum. Rum is good.

_To Elizabeth Turner_ – "who is it now? Could you please decide which one you love?!"

_Elizabeth_ – Will. To me, Jack is more of a…hum…I'll have to think about this one.

_To Captain William Turner_ – "are you all right with being a pirate now?"

_Will_: I hate to say it, but Jack was right when he said that pirate is in my blood and I did have to square with that. And Jack never let my forget it.

_To Joshamee Gibbs_ – "how did you meet Jack?"

_Gibbs_: Jack and I first met soon after he had turned pirate. He showed up at Tortuga looking for anyone who knew much of The Treasure of Isla de Muerta. I was having a fourth drink when he comes over and me says to me, "What say you to a man buying another man a fifth drink and he drinks it while listening to a few questions from the man who so graciously bought him a drink." Well, I was out of money and so I says to him, "I'll take what I can, but I'll give nothing back." "Good man!" He says to me. I told him of a woman I had once heard of known as Tia Delma and he set out for her. I seen him when he made port at Tortuga now and again. Once he shows up with no Pearl. But I had some real adventures that day Jack showed his face with that boy William.

**A/N: Thanks to Wicked R I just spent about a half an hour at the computer having the time of my life. Thanks so much! And Tassel630, you have fun hitting Jack with a crowbar anyway, I'll laugh when he cheats and you lose! Send in more questions everyone!**


	4. The Questions keep coming!

**A/N: All I can say is once again, thanks to all who keep sending in these great questions!**

_Question from IxNeverxExisted to Captain Jack Sparrow _– "How much do you pay for wenches and have you reached your goal for immortality yet? If you haven't what do you plan to do to reach it?"

_Jack_: Frankly, I try to avoid the women since it always seems to end in a slap; whether I deserve it or not! And Aqua de Vida is a bit harder to find then you would think. Plus, I'm still trying to get MY ship back. That may help things move a little faster.

_Question from the-american-hockey-girl to Captain Jack Sparrow _– "More info. What was the relationship between you two? TELL THE TRUTH OR I WILL SIC JACK THE MONKEY ON YOU!"

_Jack_: Okay, okay, I used Ana to get a boat! Nothing happened! And I could use some more target practice, I love shooting that money!

_Question from the-american-hockey-girl to Captain William Turner_ – "yeah that plan stinks. Maybe you could get a new girlfriend? Like a certain brunette from the USA who loves hockey?"

_Will_: She didn't fall for Jack. I'm never falling for anyone else. Sorry.

_Question from the-american-hockey-girl to Elizabeth Turner_ – "Are you a Mary Sue?"

_Elizabeth_: I honestly don't know what a Mary Sue is.

_The following four questions are from Medusa Sparrow-Descouedres to Captain Jack Sparrow_ – "What's with the peanut? Why are you beyond obsessed with them? How'd you come across the burn scar on your left arm and the bullet scars on the right peck muscles (deleted Island scene in CotBP)? Will you PLEASE kill Barbossa again? In the jail scene in CotBP, where did your coat and hat go when talking to Will? You had them on when you saw the Pearl firing on Port Royal, then they disappeared."

_Jack_: I like peanuts. And you have no idea how much I had to do to find the Isla de Muerta; and then, after all that work, what happens? I get kicked off my own ship and stuck on that God Forsaken Island; although I did enjoy the rum. As soon as I get MY ship back, I intend to kill Barbossa again. And as for your last question… (looks up and thinks for a while then answers with blank, dumb-founded expression)…I don't know.

_Question from Wicked R to Captain Teague_ – "where was Jack conceived?"

_Teague_: (holds rifle to your head) is that any of your business?

**A/N: Okay, I hope that those are good answers for you all. And if not, get mad at the characters, not me. They're answering; I'm just typing what they say! And the-american-hockey-girl; nice try, but I think Will's taken. Oh, and Medusa Sparrow-Descouedres, as far as your last question goes, I would send a letter to the director about that because you made a good point. And Tassel630, would you give it up already!**


	5. Sorry it took so long

**A/N: Sorry this took so long to get up. And just so you know, I'm going to get really busy, real soon. Keep sending in the questions and I'll try to get to them on the weekends. Thanks everyone!**

_Question from PirateEbony to Captain Jack Sparrow – _"Why didn't Elizabeth love you? Do you think, as I do, that she must have been so blind not to see that you are much better looking and more charming than bloody Will?"

_Jack_: Those two are a perfect match. I don't really mind, after all, how could I love someone who tried, and succeeded, in killing me?

_Question from PirateEbony to Captain Elizabeth Turner _– "Were you stupid, blind or just simply both? Why did you fall for Will? Couldn't you see how annoying and stupid he was?"

_Elizabeth_: I don't love Jack and when I kissed him his breath smelled like rum.

_Question from PirateEbony to Captain William Turner_ – "What happened to that hat at the end of CotBP?? It was nice because it covered your face?"

_Will_: The feather was too big for me.

_Question from PirateEbony to Captain Hector Barbossa_ – "Do you have a romantic interest in Elizabeth?"

_Barbossa_: No.

_Question from PirateEbony to Captain Teague _– "Do you think Jack deserves to be slapped that many times?"

_Teague_: (laughs) I think he's got many more coming his way and I ain't protecting him.

_Question from Jellyhair to Captain William Turner – _"If you had to shoot someone out of your father or Elizabeth, who would it be?"

_Will_: I don't care if it's an option or not, I'd shoot myself first.

_Question from Jellyhair to Captain Jack Sparrow_ – "Would you marry Will if someone gave you a lifetime's supply of rum?"

_Jack_: That's an interesting question…possibly.

_Question from Jellyhair to Captain Elizabeth Turner_ – "Who would you rather kiss, Barbossa or Davy Jones?"

_Elizabeth_: I'd rather kiss Jack again. And that's saying something.

_Question from Wolf Mystic to Captain Hector Barbossa _– "If I asked you to smack Jack upside his head, would you do it for me?"

_Barbossa_: Gladly, Missy.

_Question from Wicked R to Captain Jack Sparrow_ – "What was your worst hangover like?"

_Jack_: I woke up and Elizabeth had burned all the food, shade, and all the rum.

_Question from Wicked R to James Norrington_ – "Was it all worth it in the end, sacrificing yourself for Elizabeth many times? Do you envy Jack Sparrow?"

_Norrington_: She didn't love me, but I loved her. Yes. And no, I prefer to NOT be drunk all the time.

**A/N: I wasn't sure whether to call Elizabeth "King" or "Captain" so I called her neither until I decided. Sorry about that.**


	6. I'm Back!

A/N: I…AM…SOOOOOOOOOOOOO SORRY

**A/N: I…AM…**_**SOOOOOOOOOOOOO**_** SORRY! I was in the school musical, I had no time, then personal problems and couldn't focus on anything, then exams, then summer came, it's a week into summer vacation and I am back!! I apologize ten hundred thousand million times for practically disappearing from fanfiction! But now it's summer, I will get busy again because even in the summer I have stuff going on but I promise I won't disappear again.**

**Now then, many people sent in questions when this fic was new and at its height! I apologize personally to the people who sent in questions months ago right before I disappeared and those questions shall now FINALLY be answered!**

_Question from Medusa Sparrow-Descouedres to Captain Teague_ – "How'd Jack's mum become a shrunken head? I've always wondered how that's done..."

_Teague_: (suddenly angry) Is the state of my wife's head any of your business!

_Question from Medusa Sparrow-Descouedres to_ _Captain Jack Sparrow_ – "Does it bother you when people write Sparrabeths? And how old are you?"

_Jack_: Now why would that bother me? (glances at Elizabeth in fear of being smacked again) And I am… (pauses and stares into space)…I…I don't know.

_Question from Medusa Sparrow-Descouedres to __Davy Jones_ – "Did you end up with Calypso after Will killed you?"

_Jones_: (irritable) Common sense. I'm dead. She's immortal. Do the math.

_Question from Medusa Sparrow-Descouedres to__ Tia Dalma_ – "You didn't seem too keen to be released from your human bonds, did you not want to go back to being Calypso?"

_Calypso_: Things aren't always what they seem. OF COURSE I WANTED OUT OF THAT PRISION OF A BODY!

_Question from Teros to Captain Jack Sparrow_ – "Would you rather have eternal life or an unlimited supply of rum?"

_Jack_: The rum. I like rum. Rum is good. I could always get the eternal life through another source anyway.

_Question from Tassek630 to Captain Hector Barbossa_ – "WILL you smack Jack upside the head? PLEASE?!"

_Barbossa_: It would be my pleasure, Missy.

_Question from Tassel630 to Captain William Turner_ – "Do you get offended when people say, "Fire at Will!"?"

_Will_: (laughs) I actually never realized that.

_Jack_: (smiles and slowly reaches for gun)

_Elizabeth_: (points at Jack) DON'T!

_Jack_: (slumps and crosses arms)

_Tassel630_: whacks Jack with crowbar

_Jack_: (ducks)

_Question from Shellygirl to Captain Elizabeth Turner_ – "What did you name your son? I'm guessing Will...What would you name your daughter? Twin boys?"

_Elizabeth_: (looks at Will and both smile) Yes, our son's name is Will. Our daughter would be named Isabel. If we had twin boys…well… (looks at Will)…we don't really know yet.

_Question from __Ze Ultimate Fanfic Writer__ to Captain __Jack Sparrow_ – "To Jack Sparrow, I beg his pardon, CAPTAIN Jack Sparrow. I mean, did you HONESTLY not feel Elizabeth chaining you to the ship when she was kissing you? Were you enjoying it that much?"

_Jack_: (looks around and stares to the side as he answers sheepishly) Maybe.

_Question from __Ze Ultimate Fanfic Writer__ to Captain Elizabeth _Turner – "To Lizzie, Where do you shop? Your clothes are great. Except for the fact that they're from hundreds of years ago, but I can wear them to my next Halloween party. And I like your hair too."

_Elizabeth_: (chuckles) I'm flattered. But I'm afraid I don't know where you live and all my clothes I have been given by pirates on the many ships I've found myself on and my dresses are all from my father.

_Question from __Ze Ultimate Fanfic Writer__ to Captain William _Turner – "To Will, How do you feel about the writer of this fanfic kidnapping you and forcing you to answer these questions?"

_Will_: Hey, I don't have to wait the ten years to see Elizabeth. Good enough deal to me.

_Question from __Ze Ultimate Fanfic Writer__ to Captain Davy _Jones – "Just out of boredom, how many tentacle things do you have? looks up innocently, then hands Davy Jones a cookie and dashes away at the speed of a rocket"

_Jones_: (stares at cookie in confusion) I can't really count. Can you see your chin? Neither can I. (stares at cookie, then at the rest of the cast, leans away from view of his fellow cast mates and eats cookie as fast as possible)

_Question from__IsabellaMarieCullen3214__ to Captain Jack Sparrow_ – "How exactly did you end up in a coffin in the beginning of POTC 2?"

_Jack_: Well, I can't answer that. You see, as you may recall my exact words to Mr. Gibbs were "Complications arose, ensued, were overcome." Well, the complications included me being thrown in a rather smelly dungeon then being fetched by a very largish dirty man without a shirt who dragged me up a flight of stairs and I snatched that little drawing of the key from his belt and when I asked if he had a drop of rum on him he hit me on the head and I was out. I woke up to the pecking of a bird in a dark wet wooden coffin of sorts. Shot the bird, and, well, 'spose you know the rest.

**A/N: Okay, Tassel630, you have fun whacking Jack. IsabellaMarieCullen3214, your other question: To the twins on the boat at the end of the world: What is you favorite color?**

**Well, I'm afraid I didn't kidnap them. Sorry.**

**To everyone who sent in these questions, thank you very much ****and I apologize again for taking forever to return to fanfiction. Oh, and ****Medusa Sparrow-Descouedres****, I believe you said in a review you had more questions. I hope you and everyone else will forgive me for taking so long to answer your questions and I hope you'll send in your other questions now that I'm back. And the same goes to everyone else! Send in questions through reviews! I'm back and here to stay so your questions WILL be answered! Thanks everyone! It's great to be back!**


	7. WEE! I love writing again!

A/N: See, I'm not disappearing again

**A/N: See, I'm not disappearing again! Anyway, things to all who sent in questions so soon after my return, they shall now be answered.**

_Question from __.insane.lil.piratess. to Captain Jack Sparrow_ – "To CAPTAIN Jack: OMG, I LOVE YOU! ahem Can me and me brother join your crew?"

_Jack_: You, I take it, are a woman by your name. So no, you may not. I have had far too much bad luck due to women aboard my ship. One, I had to promise a very large and fast boat to. And another killed me. And…well, as for your brother…I…don't really have a good reason but no.

_Question from __.insane.lil.piratess. to Captain Elizabeth Turner_ – "To Elizabeth: Do you like cheese? That was kinda random but, hey, that's me!! XD"

_Elizabeth_: Uh, I suppose.

_Question from __.insane.lil.piratess. to Captain William Turner_ – "To Captain Will: Why on EARTH do you wear that bandana at the end of POTC 3?! It makes me want to burn your head!!"

_Will_: Well, I'm not one for large hats and as a Captain I have to wear some sort of head gear.

_Elizabeth_: And I like it.

_Question from __.insane.lil.piratess. to Captain Hector Barbossa_ – "To Barbossa: Will you be our dad?? And can I have Jack the monkey?"

_Barbossa_: I'm disinclined to acquiesce to your request.

_Jack the monkey_: (hides behind Barbossa and eats a peanut.)

_Jack the person_: (glares at Jack the monkey in greed and whispers to himself) My peanut.

_Question from __.insane.lil.piratess. to Captain Teague _–"To Teague: Would you shoot me if I shouted THE CODE SUCKS LIKE YOUR FACE!! ...don't hurt me!"

_Teague_: (eyeing .insane.lil.piratess. menacingly with evil smile of death) IF you said such a thing. IF you did I'd be forced to not only hurt but kill by the most painful means necessary that I posses. IF, that is.

_Question from Tassel630 to everyone_ – "To... Everyone, I guess: Whatever happened to my-favorite-character-also-known-as-Jack-the-undead-monkey?"

_Jack the monkey_: (leaps on Barbossa's shoulder)

_Barbossa_: (hands Jack the monkey another peanut) Why is everyone bothering my monkey today!!

_Jack the person_: He ate my peanut.

_Tassel630_: (whacks Jack the person)

_Jack_: (ducks again and wonders what the heck Tassel630 has against him considering most girls he has met seem to be more or less in love with him)

_Question from futuremrsdolley to James Norrington_ - "When Elizabeth said she'd marry you only if you saved Will, was it not obvious to you that she was just using you?"

_Norrington_: I've realized how oblivious I was to her and William's feelings. I guess I was too in love with her.

**A/N: Okay, so I couldn't make that last question funny. Sometimes you guys ask questions that are all lovey dovey and I can't make it funny. And that's fine with me! I don't mind the lovey questions in the slightest. Okay, hope that other questions DID turn out pretty funny. Now I need to add on a few things to some of the questions:**

**To .insane.lil.piratess. – I LOVE JACK TOO!**

**To Tassel630 – I expect you are rolling your eyes right about now.**

**To everyone – In case you haven't figured it out from this fic, my other fics, or my home page, Tassel630 (AKA Tassel) is a bud of mine and doesn't think any guy is cute, and any guy I think is cute she dislikes more and then they get whacked and I get whacked ever time I bring them up. So yeah, that's the reason for all the whacking and whatnot.**

**To Captain Jack Sparrow – I wish I could save you from the Tassel's crowbar but sadly I cannot. Apologizes.**

**To .insane.lil.piratess. – WILL LOOKS FREAKIN' SEXY IN THAT BANDANA!**

**To Tassel630 – Again, you roll your eyes.**

**To .insane.lil.piratess. – I wouldn't aggravate Captain Teague if I were you.**

**Okay, I just made a lot more comments then I thought I had. Well, thanks for all the questions guys! And PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE send in more everyone! I'm glad to be back but I can't right a new chapter until I get enough new questions so ask like crazy PLEASE! Thanks for reading!**


	8. You Reviewer People ROCK!

A/N: Okay, YOU GUYS OFFICALLY ROCK

**A/N: Okay, YOU GUYS OFFICALLY ROCK! The last chapter was up for about two minutes before my email box flooded with reviews! You guys are the best!**

_Question from __XxLuvAtFirstBitexX to Captain Hector Barbossa_ – "Where did you get Jack the undead monkey?"

_Barbossa_: Tia Delma and Tortuga aren't the only places a pirate can go for supplies and other such things you know?

_Question from IsabellaMarieCullen3214 to Captain Jack Sparrow_ – "What is the story behind the bone in your hair?"

_Jack_: Well-

_Gibbs_: (cutting in) Don't you believe anything he says about how he got that reindeer bone! I doubt he would ever survive in the cold long enough to kill a reindeer and get a bone like that himself. I'll bet he got it from Tia Delma.

_Jack_: (glares at Gibbs)

_Question from Medusa Sparrow-Descouedres to Captain Elizabeth Turner_ – "Where on EARTH did you hide that cannon like gun at the start of At World's End?"

_Jack, Barbossa, Gibbs, Ragetti, Pintel, and all other single males in the cast who think Elizabeth is hot_: (lean toward Elizabeth smiling with extreme curiosity)

_Elizabeth_: (glares at each male individually) Not a chance boys.

_Question from Medusa Sparrow-Descouedres to Captain Davy Jones_ – "Do you remember how long you were Captain of the Flying Dutchman before Will killed you?"

_Jones_: I was the first and only Captain of that ship until quite recently. (glares at Jack)

_Jack_: (crosses legs and sits back starring into space and whistles inconspicuously)

_Question from Medusa Sparrow-Descouedres to Captain Jack Sparrow_ – "To CAPTAIN Jack Sparrow: Please tell me you weren't gonna TRY anything disgusting with that goat? Though you probably were."

_Jack_: (defensively) In my defense I was not quite in my right mind. You try being trapped in Davy Jones locker and when you come back tell me nothing of such odd sorts happened to you!

_Elizabeth_: (rolls eyes and guesses what Jack was actually thinking when he inched toward the goat)

_Question from Medusa Sparrow-Descouedres to Captain Jack Sparrow _– "Jack again: Apart from rum, what other drinks do you like? And that doesn't include more rum, diet rum, almost rum, I can't believe its not rum etc."

_Jack_: Carbonated rum and light rum.

_Question from Medusa Sparrow-Descouedres to Lord Cutler Beckett_ –"To Lord Castrated Bastard ahem Lord Cutler Beckett: Are you always this cheery? Or do you have to work on it?"

_Beckett_: (with a far too creepy cheery smile) It comes with time.

_Question from .insane.lil.piratess. to Captain Teague _– "To Teague: Hehe! Ur fun when ur mad! whacks him with his guitary thing Ha ha! You don't like me, do you?"

_Teague_: Frankly no, I don't.

_Question from .insane.lil.piratess. to Captain Hector Barbossa _– "To er... Barbossa: Whatever! I don't like you anywayz! pouts And where actually DID you get that hat?"

_Barbossa_: (is silent, not that excited to answer the question)

_Jack_: (smiling) Actually, I got him that hat.

_Question from .insane.lil.piratess. to Captain Jack Sparrow _– "To... JACK!: Okay, im pretty mad now! And so's my brother! What if i dressed up as a man? Could i join your crew then?? OMG, ur so hot! ahem"

_Jack_: I really don't think men's clothes would flatter you at all. It really should be a dress or nothing. I happen to have no dress on my-

_Elizabeth_: Ugh, Jack!! WILL you stop it!?

_Will_: (looking up) Did someone say may name?

_Jack_: (noticing how dim Will can be, wonders why Elizabeth picked Will over him)

_Question from .insane.lil.piratess. to Joshamee Gibbs _– "To Gibbs: Will YOU be our dad, then? And what would you do if i poked you??"

_Gibbs_: (ignoring questions due to the fact he is out cold with a mug of rum in his hand)

_Jack_: (leans over to look into the mug to see if there is any rum left)

_Question from .insane.lil.piratess. to Captain William Turner _– "And finally to... WILL: What do you think about Gibbs??"

_Will_: (stares at the drunken Gibbs) Uh…can't say much for him.

_Q__uestion from ElizabethTurner93 to Captain Jack Sparrow _–"To Captain Jack Sparrow: What exactly did you see when you went down the Kraken's throat? I know you went to Davy's locker, but how did the 'transformation' look?

_Jack_: Well, once it swallowed me I don't remember much after that. I woke up on my ship not quite in my right mind. As I'm sure you know all after that.

_Q__uestion from ElizabethTurner93 to Captain William Turner _– "To Will Turner: Why exactly are you so hot?"

_Will_: (confused and slightly scared as this is about the millionth time something of this sort has happened to him) Uh…I…don't…know.

_Q__uestion from ElizabethTurner93 to Captain Elizabeth Turner _– "To Elizabeth Turner: This isn't a question, but I really am a big fan of yours!"

_Elizabeth_: Well…thanks.

_Question from Tassel630 to Ragetti and Pintel_ – "Yay! Whacks Jack Um... need a question... To Pintel and Ragetti: In POTC 3, HOW did you manage to tie yourselves up upside-down with your hands UNDER the ropes?! And to Pintel: If I vote for you (with the captain issue in doubt) will you whack Jack for me?"

_Jack_: (ducks in plenty of time as he has now learned to fear the name "Tassel630")

_Ragetti_: Well, what we did was… (trails of, unsure, looks at Pintel)

_Pintel_: Here's how we did it… (pauses and doesn't know how to continue)

_Ragetti_: I…I don't know.

_Pintel_: It was his idea. (jerks head toward Ragetti) (considers Tassel630's offer) Eh, sure why not? (pulls out rifle and whacks Jack on the head with it)

_Jack_: OUCH! (glares at Tassel630)

_Ragetti_: (to the whole cast) SEE!? I TOLD YOU WE COULD USE THE RIFLES AS CLUBS!!

**A/N: I don't know what is was, but this chapter was just really fun to write. I think it's cuz I came up with most of the jokes on the spot and they worked so well. Hope it's as good as it feels.**

**To IsabellaMarieCullen3214 – Your question to Will was just a little too directed to Orlando Bloom for me to answer. I did hear somewhere that IF another Pirate movie is made (hopes to the Lord above it will happen) that Bloom was a little unsure if he'd do it. But anyway, hope you liked the answer to your other question. Sorry I couldn't answer both.**

**To Everyone who had read most of the chapters – In case you haven't noticed yet, Tassel630's whacking of Jack is going to be a continuous thing. So look for it in every future chapter, as long as Tassel630 doesn't disappoint, it'll be there!**

**To LORD commodore Norry - PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE DO SEND IN YOUR QUESTIONS! This fic will go on as long as I can write and have access to a computer and everyone continues to send in questions.**

**Same goes to everyone, PLEASE send in questions. I think part of the reason this was a great chapter to write was cuz the questions rocked! Keep them coming everyone!**


	9. WOW! You guys are AWESOME!

A/N: UNBELIEVEBABLE

**A/N: UNBELIEVEBABLE!! YOU GUYS ARE SENDING IN QUESTIONS LIKE NEVER BEFORE!! I'm posting new chapters like crazy since my return. YOU GUYS ARE AWESOME!**

_Question from LORD commodore Norry to Lord Cutler Beckett _– "Why do you always have Mercer do your dirty work? What happened in your childhood that made you so evil today?"

_Beckett_: Mercer likes to do the dirty work. And what do you mean evil? (oblivious)

_Everyone else in the cast_: (glares at Beckett)

_Question from saphireKat to Bootstrap Bill _– "For Bootstrap: When you killed poor Norrington in the 3rd PotC, did you actually know what you were doing or do you even remember doing it?"

_Bootstrap_: (regrettably) I don't know if I was aware of what I was doing at all during my last days serving Davy Jones. I was part of the ship, but I do remember all of it.

_Question from saphireKat to Captain Hector Barbossa _– "For Captain Barbossa: Are you Irish at all?"

_Barbossa_: No.

_Question from saphireKat to Captain Hector Barbossa _– "Another one for Captain Barbossa: How did you come across your monkey? And why did you name him "Jack"? That seems a tad ironic considering your monkey is named after the man who you had a mutiny against."

_Barbossa_: Yes, but the mutiny was successful now wasn't it?

_Question from saphireKat to Captain Jack Sparrow _– "For Captain Jack Sparrow: What was your mother's name? And do you like being called "Jacky"...Jacky? (LOL. I'm just joking, plz do not shoot me... you're one of my fav pirates!!)"

_Jack_: (stares at his dad in fear of answering the question)

_Teague_: (to questioner) Jack's mum is none of your business. And only I call him Jacky.

_Question from saphireKat to Captain Elizabeth Turner _– "For Elizabeth Turner: About a year ago when you were the daughter of a governor and living an upscale life, did you EVER think your life would turn out the way it is right now?"

_Elizabeth_: (chuckles) Never.

_Question from Tassel630 to Pintel _– "To Pintel: First of all, you are my new bestest friend, along with Barbossa who agreed to slap Jack. (stomps on Jack's foot, and hits him with crowbar while he's occupied making that funny face he makes when someone hurts him) ANYWAY, how many times has Ragetti tested his guns-as-clubs theory on you?"

_Pintel_: (glares at Ragetti) More than necessary. That's for sure!

_Jack_: OUCH! (hops around on unharmed foot, holding stomped on foot with one hand and rubbing his head with the other while making the funny face he makes when he's in pain and begins to plot revenge on Tassel630)

_Question from LegolasGreenleaf.Willizabet… to Captain Jack Sparrow_ – "To jack: if you had to live without one of the following, which would it be? Rum or the black pearl?

_Jack_: I've lived without the Pearl more than I'd like to (glares at Barbossa) but nonetheless I know how to live without her. I wouldn't like it, but at least Barbossa wouldn't have it. I don't like living without rum, rum is good.

_Question from LegolasGreenleaf.Willizabet… to Captain William Turner _– "To will: I kinda love you...would you dump Elizabeth for me? smiles"

_Will_: (puts arm around Elizabeth) Uh…no.

_Question from LegolasGreenleaf.Willizabet… to Captain Elizabeth Turner _– "To elizabeth: if you were stranded on an island, who would you rather be stuck with? Beckett or jones?"

_Elizabeth_: Although he technically KILLED MY HUSBAND (glares with a woman's fury at Jones) I'd rather be stuck with Jones. After all, he'd either be stuck in a bucket, or in the shallows around the island.

_Question from Capt. Phantom to Pintel and Ragetti_ – "How exactly DID you get out of jail in Dead Man's Chest?"

_Pintel_: Poochy over here.

_Question from Capt. Phantom to Lord Cutler Beckett_ – "What happened at the end of AWE when your ship blew up around you? Did you just go crazy or something?"

_Whole cast except for Beckett in unison_: (before Beckett can say anything) HE WENT CRAZY!

_Jack_: That is assuming he wasn't crazy before hand and I've had my questions about his sanity.

_Beckett_: (glares at Jack)

_Question from Capt. Phantom to Captain William Turner_ – "What are you going to do when Elizabeth dies, because she isn't immortal like you are, you know?"

_Will_: We've figured out many ways for her to live with me on the Dutchman once she dies.

_Question from Capt. Phantom to Captain Jack Sparrow_ – "How did you make the Pelegostos think that you were a god?"

_Jack_: I haven't the slightest idea. They set me up on that throne and thought I was a God from the moment they saw me. I suppose that's just the impression I make.

_Elizabeth and Will_: (roll eyes at Jack and his ego)

_Question from Capt. Phantom to Davy Jones_ – "Odd question, but how exactly did you cut your heart out without dying?"

_Davy_: How do you think? How many ways are there to cut out your still beating heart and lock it up in a chest!

_Question from Capt. Phantom to Captain Teague_ – "Where'd you get your cool guitar?"

_Teague_: I made it.

_Question from Capt. Phantom to Captain Hector Barbossa_ – "Why are you always such a jerk to Jack?"

_Barbossa_: If someone shot you, would you hold a bit of a grudge?

_Question from Capt. Phantom to Joshamee Gibbs_ – "Why the heck do you have a teddy bear?"

_Gibbs_: (clears throat one too many times more than needed and stares at feet and walls awkwardly) Uh…what are you talking about Missy? I have no teddy bear.

_Jack_: (looks at Gibbs out of the corner of his eye and raises an eyebrow at him)

_Question from Capt. Phantom to Davy Jones and James Norrington_ – "How are you answering these questions when you're supposed to be dead?"

_Davy and James in unison_: Because we can!

_Question from Capt. Phantom to James Norrington_ – "Why did you get de-ranked in the first place? I mean, besides being a jerk to the pirates, you did seem like you were good at your job."

_Norrington_: (glares at Beckett) I never actually found out why. I don't think there WAS a reason.

_Question from Capt. Phantom to Davy Jones _– "Another Davy Jones question: Did you know that Calypso was cheating on you with a guy named Odysseus?"

_Jones_: SAY WAH?!

_Question from Capt. Phantom to Tia Delma _– "Tia Dalma/Calypso: How exactly did you get Barbossa's body of Isla de Muerta when the island had already sunk into the sea?"

_Tia Delma_: I'm a Goddess. Do you really think it was that hard?

_Question from Capt. Phantom to Captain Elizabeth Turner_ – "Did Will just leave you on the island and you lived there for ten years or did you go somewhere else and stay there for awhile?"

_Elizabeth_: I would leave. But I made completely sure to be there when Will returned.

_Question from Capt. Phantom to Captain Jack Sparrow_ – "Why do you always wear your hat? You look more piratical when you just have your bandana on. That's just my opinion, may not be anyone else's."

_Jack_: My hat.

_Question from will'sdutchmanmistress_ _to Tia Dalma_ – "Do you think Will is hot and if I asked would you change Elizabeth into a flea?"

_Tia Delma_: I'm not going to bother with interfering with those two. No need to really.

_Question from will'sdutchmanmistress_ _to Captain Jack Sparrow_ – "What would you do if Elizabeth said she would leave Will for you?"

_Will_: (glares at Jack with a warning in his eyes but also slightly smiling with an interest to hear Jack's answer)

_Elizabeth_: (also slightly smiling, interested to hear Jack's answer)

_Jack_: (in slight fear of Will, but more so fearing Elizabeth if he answers badly) I would disincline.

_Barbossa_: (chuckles)

_Will_: (smiles at Jack) Good answer. (turns to Elizabeth, they smile at each other and kiss)

_Jack_: (stares at them and wonders if once was really enough)

_Question from will'sdutchmanmistress_ _to Captain Hector Barbossa_ – "Why do you keep stealing Jack's ship?"

_Barbossa_: It's my ship.

_Jack_: What ship?

_Barbossa_: The Pearl.

_Jack_: What Pearl?

_Barbossa_: The Black Pearl.

_Jack_: The Black Pearl is my ship.

_Barbossa_: Uh, no, it's my ship.

_Jack_: But I'm the Captain of the Pearl and if you're Captain of a ship then it's your ship.

_Barbossa_: Exactly, that's why it's my ship.

_Jack_: But you're not Captain.

_Barbossa_: Yes I am.

_Jack_: No, the Pearl is my ship because I'm the Captain. And how can a ship of which you are not Captain of be your ship when you must be Captain of said ship for said ship what your are not Captain of be yours?

_Gibbs_: Here we go again.

_Barbossa_: What?

_Jack_: What?

_Barbossa_: What?

_Jack_: Mate, you're not making any sense at all.

_Author of the fanfic also known as Talvana_: (realizing this could go on for a while, continues onto the next question)

_Question from will'sdutchmanmistress_ _to Jack the monkey_ – "Do you want a peanut?"

_Jack the monkey_: (makes a monkey noise and holds out hands, er paws, er whatever a monkey's front two limbs are called)

_Question from will'sdutchmanmistress_ _to Davy Jones_ – "Do you think Will makes a good captain on your erm...ex-ship?"

_Jones_: (grunts)

_Will and Elizabeth_: (grab handles of swords to be on the safe side)

_Question from will'sdutchmanmistress_ _to Captain Elizabeth Swann_ – "What would you do if Will fell in love with someone else during the ten years of separation. What would you do with Will's heart if you died, or if he fell in love with someone else?"

_Will_: That would never happen.

_Elizabeth_: And I would always take care of his heart. And once I die I'll live on board the Dutchman and our son will take care of Will's heart.

_Question from will'sdutchmanmistress_ _to James Norrington_ – "When you asked Elizabeth to marry you did the age difference not matter to you?"

_Norrington_: In our century, that doesn't matter.

_Question from will'sdutchmanmistress_ _to Lord Cutler Beckett_ – "Have you ever been compared to Napoleon because of your height?"

_Jack_: (chuckles)

_Beckett_: (glares at Jack) Once.

_Question from will'sdutchmanmistress_ _to Bootstrap Bill_ – "First do you think Will makes a good Captain? Second how long do you plan on staying in service on the Dutchman?"

_Bootstrap_: Will is a magnificent captain and I'll stay under his service as long as I can. I got no where else to go after all.

_Question from will'sdutchmanmistress_ _to Captain William Turner _– "To the sexiness that is Captain Will Turner: First I really love your accent so can you please say the "do you fear death" line? Second if I were to die at sea would you save me or would you let me die because I'm a woman? Third if Elizabeth died would you eventually fall in love with someone else, and what would happen to your heart?

_Will_: It's my job to carry everyone safely to the other side, no matter who you are. Otherwise I'd end up like Jones. And when Elizabeth dies she's living with me on the Dutchman forever.

_Question from Capt. Phantom to __Jack the Monkey and Mr. Cotton's Parrot_ – "What is wrong with you two, why can't you just get along?"

_Mr. Cotton's Parrot_: (looks at Jack the Monkey) BROCK! Walk the plank!

_Jack the Monkey_: (makes monkey noise and points gun to the parrot)

_Barbossa_: (to Jack the person) That's why we named the monkey Jack. He can be just like you sometimes.

_Jack the person_: (stares at Jack the monkey in disgust that they are anything alike)

_Question from Capt. Phantom to Captain __Teague_ – "Curious question, how'd you become Keeper of the Code?"

_Teague_: The Code gets pasted down to a new Keeper picked out by the last Keeper. The new Keeper must have been a Captain at one time in his life, and met a few other requirements that aren't allowed outside of the past and present Keepers.

_Question from Capt. Phantom to Captain __Elizabeth Turner_ – "Are you still King of the Pirates or are you not, because you apparently quit piracy?"

_Elizabeth_: Once a pirate always a pirate. What would make you think I quit piracy? I would never give up a position that lets me boss Jack around anyway!

_Question from Capt. Phantom to Captain __William Turner and Captain Elizabeth Turner_ – "Will: (and also a wise-word to Elizabeth): You would've almost kissed Tia Delma if Jack hadn't stopped you. Why? And Elizabeth, what do you think about this?"

_Will_: Uh…no I wouldn't have.

_Elizabeth_: Plus, as you said, with Jack and his ego with "knowing" people, mostly female people, Tia Delma never would have gotten the chance with him around.

_Question from Capt. Phantom to __Anamaria_ – "Why'd you just disappear? I thought you were great in the first movie!"

_Anamaria_: To any girl out there, you try staying on the same ship with Jack for any length of time! Not so easy! (looks at Elizabeth) I don't know how you do it girl! You're a marvel!

_Elizabeth_: Thanks. But I know what you're talking about; it isn't the easiest thing to pull off while staying sane.

_Jack_: HEY! I can hear you!

_Anamaria_: AND…?!

_Jack_: (backs off in fear of being slapped)

_Question from Capt. Phantom to Captain __Sao Feng_ – "Great dragon tattoo on your head! How'd you get it?"

_Sao Feng_: Plenty of places to get them in Singapore.

_Question from Capt. Phantom to Captain __Jack Sparrow_ – "Hey, I heard when you were a teenager you dressed as a girl to get past a guard (Jack Sparrow series). Is this true or are you just gonna lie about it?"

_Jack_: (clears throat) Um…completely untrue.

_Question from Capt. Phantom to __Marty_ – "Why do you always have a weapon like two times bigger then you are? No offense to your size, just a little question."

_Marty_: They don't come in my size.

_Question from Capt. Phantom to Govenor Swann and James Norrington _– "Govenor Swann and Norrington: Okay, I have always wanted to ask this. Why do your wigs change color throughout the movie (aka when Elizabeth was a child and when she was grown up) when you could've just kept the same color and look younger? Also, again, why are you answering these questions when you're supposed to be dead?"

_Govenor_: That's just how it works.  
_  
__Question from Capt. Phantom to Captain __Sao_ _Feng_ – "Why'd you answer my question above if you're supposed to be dead?"

_Sao Feng_: Because I can.

_Question from Capt. Phantom to Captain Hector __Barbossa_ – "Did you ever want to be cursed again, just for the fact that you were invincible? And also, do you regret leaving Jack on the island because he didn't have to suffer like you did? And third, do you ever realize that in the movies that you always seem to get punished for being a jerk to Jack?"

_Barbossa_: Every now and again I've thought being invincible would be useful. (glares at Jack) Like when Jack shot me. And simply because Jack never let me forget the fact that it worked in his favor!...That's the only reason I regret leaving him on that island. (and refuses to answer third question, simply ignores that the question was asked)

_Jack_: (smiles, as all of Barbossa's answers made him look good and up his ego)

_Question from Capt. Phantom to Captain William Turner_ – "Why did you get an earring?"

_Will_: Eh…why not?  
_  
__Question from Capt. Phantom to Captain __Jack Sparrow_ – "You completely are oblivious to anything around you when Elizabeth 1. tries to kiss you and then 2. kisses you and kills you. Do you like her, because I think you do.

_Jack_: (doesn't answer for fear of downing his ego by admitting his obliviousness and in fear of Elizabeth and Will killing him if he answers truthfully to the last question)

_Question from Capt. Phantom to Captain __Elizabeth Turner_ – "Are you sure your child is Will's and not Jack's?"

_Elizabeth_: (disgusted at the thought) POSSITIVE!!

_Jack_: (seems to be daydreaming about something)

_Elizabeth_: STOP PICTURING IT!

_Jack_: (stops only in fear of Elizabeth)

_Question from Capt. Phantom to Captain __Jack Sparrow_ – "Did you ever search for El Dorado?"

_Jack_: (interested) What's that?  
_  
__Question from Capt. Phantom to Captain __William Turner_ – "Hey, wait, since your captain of the Dutchman...doesn't that mean you're dead? Why are you answering these questions then?"

_Will_: I'm still alive 100. My heart is still beating, just, not in me exactly.

_Question from Capt. Phantom to Captain Hector __Barbossa_ – "How'd you get the scar over your eye?"

_Barbossa_: When you're a pirate, you never die with unscratched skin.

_Question from Capt. Phantom to Captain __Jack Sparrow_ – "How come you don't have an earring...or can I not just see it through your hair. Also, why do you wear kohl over your eyes when fans think its eyeliner and make jokes about it? And...wait, if you were in the locker, that means your dead too! How are you answering these questions if you're supposed to be dead?"

_Jack_: (not wanting to bother searching through the forest that is his dreadlocks) I probably have one, but, frankly, I'm not sure. And I did die, but I'm alive again now. There are ways to come back. Just look at me and Hector over here. (gestures to Barbossa)

_Question from Capt. Phantom to __Scarlet and Giselle_ – "How exactly did Jack get you two back at the end of AWE when you were completely against him at the beginning of COTBP?"

_Scarlet_: He's a smooth talker.

_Giselle_: He smooth talked me first!

_Scarlet_: Did not!

_Jack_: Ladies! Ladies…ladies…

**A/N: (dies from longest chapter of this fic yet) Okay, that…was…endless! BUT EXTREMELY FUN! Like the last chapter, the questions were great in this one and sooooo much fun to answer! YOU GUYS ARE AMAZINGLY AWESOME! And to Capt. Phantom, I think Jack likes Elizabeth too. Actually, if you think about it, every single male cast member who's not related to Elizabeth likes her. And thanks for all the questions, never gotten so many from one person in two reviews. Please enjoy everyone and continue to review, and along with the FANTASTIC questions in reviews, let me know what you think and how I'm doing too. I love to here comments as much as these amazing questions you guys are sending in! Every question is appreciated, keep reviewing! THANKS FOR MAKING THIS A GREAT FIC EVERYONE!**


	10. Not a chapter

This isn't a chapter

**This isn't a chapter. I'm posting this under all my questionnaires for now just to let everyone know I'm sorry I promised not to disappear and although I got a few things going on right now I should have time to write. I'm just not getting around to answering questions right now. I'm going through a rough time and don't want to accidentally make all the next chapters emo just cuz I'm in a bit of a hole. I'll try to get back around to writing chapters and I'm really sorry. The Pirates Questionnaire was sky rocketing, the Twilight one finally got started and the Sweeney Todd Questionnaire just opened so I hope I can get back around to writing soon. Until then I'm sorry again and I hope to answer questions soon. Bye guys!**


	11. OK, so yeah

**A/N: Hey hey peoples! So, long story short…I'm not dead. I'll explain later. Let's do this first:**

_Question from __Eillac__ to Captain Elizabeth Turner – _"Who do you like better, Jack the monkey or Jack the deranged pirate?"

_Elizabeth_: The monkey, no question.

_Jack the person_: (mumbles to self sarcastically) Could you answer a little faster?

_Question from __Eillac__ to Captain Elizabeth Turner – _"Are you telling me that you felt NOTHING when you kissed Jack? I mean, you guys are meant to be!"

_Elizabeth_: (taken aback by this comment) We're meant to what now?

_Jack_: You know, you never did say if once was enough for _you_.

_Elizabeth_: (rolls eyes) Plenty.

_Question from __Eillac__ to Captain Jack Sparrow _– "Did YOU feel anything when Elizabeth kissed you?"

_Jack_: (smiles) Well I-

_Will_: You what Jack? Please, do tell us. (leans in to listen to Jack's answer)

_Elizabeth_: Yes, do tell. (leans in as well)

_Jack_: (nervous, not of Will as much as Elizabeth) I…uh…felt absolutely nothing. Nothing whatsoever. (to himself) _After_ the kraken swallowed.

_Question from __gothicpiratevictoria__ to Captain Jack Sparrow – _"what's up with you and your dad, it looks like you guys don't get along very well."

_Jack_: Umm…

_Teague_: Is that any of your business madam.

_Question from __gothicpiratevictoria__ to Captain Hector Barbossa – _"What were your parents like?"

_Barbossa_: I don't know. I was an orphan. Picked up the trade of piracy when I was six.

_Question from __gothicpiratevictoria__ to Captain Teague – _"Will you tell us a fact about Jack's mom, just anything because we all want to know something about her."

_Teague_: She wasn't a virgin when I married her.

_Question from __ to Captain William Turner – _"If I was not ready to die would you let me serve aboard the Dutchman even though I'm a woman?"

_Will_: I'm not sexist.

_Question from __ to__ Scarlet and Giselle_ – "Why do you fight over Jack? I mean come on look at him Ick!"

_Scarlet_: (in a dreamy voice) We are.

_Giselle_: Hey, I was looking at him first.

_Scarlet_: You know perfectly well that I was looking at him first when we met him at Tortuga. You, on the other hand, were looking at my brother.

_Giselle_: (shocked) How dare you!

_All males in the cast_: (watch as the fight breaks out and are all slightly turned on)

_Question from __ to__ Captain Jack Sparrow_ – "How did you get both Scarlet and Giselle?"

_Jack_: It's an art.

_Elizabeth_: Ha.

_Question from Auto to Mercer – _"Okay, let me start off by saying that you had, like, one of the most creative deaths in the movie series. How exactly do you plan on getting back at Davy Jones? Might I suggest opening up a sushi restaurant to torment him with? Just how long have you and Beckett known each other? What was your first impression of him?"

_Mercer_: I'm working on my revenge actually, and I shall take your idea into consideration. And Beckett and I have known each other for years. We met in a pub, and he needed things taken care of that fell into my area of expertise.

_Question from ..piratess. to Captain William Turner – _"My friend loves you... will you please just marry her to shut her up?"

_Will_: Um…I'm kind of already taken.

_Elizabeth_: My man, back off.

_Question from ..piratess. to Captain Jack Sparrow – _"OMG! MARRY ME! (ahem) WHY do you ALWAYS go after Scarlet and Giselle? Come after someone else... (coughcough) ME (coughcough)"

_Jack_: In my defense I don't go after _just_ Scarlet and Giselle.

_Elizabeth and Anamaria_: Don't even think about it.

_Question from LM1991 to select cast members _– "everyone who fell off the waterfall in AWE: HOW THE HELL DID YOU ALL SURVIVE? Normal people who fall off such a high waterfall DIE."

_Cast_: (look at one another for an answer)

_Gibbs_: We aren't really sure…

_Question from LM1991 to Captain Sao Feng_ – "Question to Sao Feng: Why did you think Elizabeth was Calypso in human form?"

_Sao Feng_: Why do you think? Just look at the way she fights!

_Question from LM1991 to Captain Jack Sparrow_ – "Question to Jack: This is not a question. This is a theory. Namely: you've get slapped every time you try to ...(needs a dictionary) (mutters) Damn language... Why was I born in The Netherlands... (found page) Aha! ''hit on a woman''. So why, dear Jack, don't you STOP trying?"

_Jack_: I-

_Elizabeth_: He can't. Trust me. It's physically impossible.

_Jack_: Beggin' your pardon Mrs. Turner, but I do believe the lady was directing the question at me.

_Elizabeth_: Am I wrong?

_Jack_: …

_Question from Tassel630 to Captain Elizabeth Turner and Anamaria_ – "To Elizabeth and Anamaria: Firstly, your names are awesome. Secondly, it's not that hard to live with Jack if you know how to deal with him. Anamaria has a good method. Allow me to demonstrate the way I prefer to do it. (Sometime later, as Jack walks along muttering to himself about some random thing, Tassel jumps out of tree and lands with feet on Jack's shoulders and bashes his head with crowbar, causing him to fall to the ground while being held down by one of Tassel's claws... er, feet.) It seems to me that your ego needs some deflation after the last chapter. You smell funny, your hair grosses me out, you're a coward, you can't even keep hold of your own ship, your mind is puny, and you're a womanizing jerk. (bashes with crowbar once again for the benefit of females everywhere) Now, I have to ask a question, so... can you whistle? And also, have you noticed that the only females that actually like you are the ones from my world, i.e., the ones that have never met you? Whereas all the females that have met you (Scarlet, Giselle, Anamaria, etc...) take great pleasure in smacking you?

_Elizabeth and Anamaria_: (exchange glances, then…) We like you.

_Anamaria_: And yes, we can both whistle.

_Elizabeth_: And she has a point about the girls who do and don't like you, there might be something to that Jack.

_Jack_: (ignoring Elizabeth's comment) I THOUGHT YOU WERE GONE!

_Author of this fic_: No, that was me…moving right along!

_Question from hoeoverbros to Captain William Turner_ – "To Will... "You are so hot. Can I have your number?"

_Will_: Number?

_Question from hoeoverbros to Captain Jack Sparrow_ – "To Jack... "Your also kind of hot, but are you sane?"

_Jack_: I-

_Elizabeth_: No, he's not. Ever.

_Jack_: Do you mind woman! Stop stealing my questions!

_Gibbs_: This is exactly why a woman shouldn't be allowed on a ship of any sort under any circumstances, its bad luck.

_Jack_: I'll drink to that. (they do) But wait, we aren't really on a ship now are we?...

_Gibbs_:…no…we aren't. Where are we?

_Question from Spirit World to Captain Elizabeth Turner_ – "So Elizabeth...how did you feel about being kissed by Sao Feng in AWE? I thought it was kinda gross...oh, and I have some rum for Jack, and muffins for everyone else! Blueberry!

_Jack_: (goes straight for the rum)

_Ragetti and Pintel_: (go straight for the blueberry muffins)

_Elizabeth_: (stares at them oddly)…Anyway, to answer your question, I did fight him in case you hadn't noticed. There was no kissing back on my side. None whatsoever.

_Question from to Davy Jones_ – "davy jones: what made you like calyspo..tia delma?... in the first place? she seems kinda mean.."

_Jones_: (doesn't respond out of a broken heart)

_Question from to Captain Jack Sparrow_ – "jack sparrow: out of the two, who do you like more? elizabeth or anamaria? and...whhy?"

_Jack_: I- (cuts himself off just from Elizabeth's glare this time) -…neither.

_Question from to Captain Hector Barbossa_ – "barbossa: how DID you get the monkey? better yet, why do you have a pet monkey?"

_Barbossa_: Bartered him off Tia Delma. And why not.

_Question from to Captain Elizabeth Turner_ – "elizabeth: did you ever notice that almost EVERY single MALE in the movies wanted you at some point? or are you just oblivious to all around you?"

_All males in the cast_: (were staring at Elizabeth who now look away)

_Elizabeth_: (more than aware of them) You really think I'm oblivious?

_Question from to William Turner III_ – "young will turner the 3rd: how does it feel to have two VERY important pirates as your parents?"

_Will III_: Cool!

_Question from to Captain William Turner_ – "will: what did you do when you first realized you had a child? rather curious, seeing as they didnt show it in the movie..."

_Will_: (sneaks a look and a smile at Elizabeth) You know the one day I had before my first ten years at see? You know how it matters how you spend that one day? Yeah…I kinda knew.

_Question from Medusa Sparrow-Winchester to Captain Elizabeth Turner_ – "To Elizabeth: Have you ever noticed that EVERY man you've kissed ends up dead? For example: You kissed Jack, then shackled him to the mast of the Pearl so the Kracken ate him. You kissed Norrington, then Bootstrap killed him, then you kissed Will just after you got married and HE died too! You must be cursed!"

_Elizabeth_: (feeling slightly guilty about SOME of those deaths) Sorry guys.

_Question from Medusa Sparrow-Winchester to Captain Jack Sparrow_ – "To Jack: LOVE the Black Pearl, gorgeous ship!"

_Jack_: Thank you-

_Barbossa_: Beggin' your pardon Missy, but I was wondering why that compliment went to Jack and not the Captain of the Pearl.

_Jack_: Mate, you seem to be a bit confused, because you see, the compliment _did_ go to the Captain of the-

_Ragetti_: We are NOT doing this right now!

_Jack and Barbossa_: (shocked at Ragetti, shut up)

_Question from Medusa Sparrow-Winchester to Captain Hector Barbossa_ – "To Barbossa: You SURE you're not Irish? As saphireKat asked. You sound like you're from Northern Ireland (like me), cuz we kinda talk the same way, except a little less piratey."

_Barbossa_: Well, I 'spose I could be. I was an orphan so I guess I really wouldn't know for sure.

_Question from Medusa Sparrow-Winchester to Davy Jones and Tia Delma_ – "To Davy Jones and Calypso: Those lockets are gorgeous, and I love the tune they play. Were they custom made?"

_Tia Delma_: (nods) By me.

_Question from Medusa Sparrow-Winchester to Captain William Turner_ – "To Will: Is Norrington on the Dutchman? I knew he stuck a sword in Davy Jones when asked if he feared death, but did you bring him on board when ferrying all those Jones neglected?"

_Will_: Never saw him. I imagine he crossed over before I became Captain of the Dutchman.

_Question from Medusa Sparrow-Winchester to Tia Delma_ – "To Calypso/Tia Dalma: Was that snake hanging in your shack an albino boa? (Bit of a stupid question, but I like snakes!)"

_Tia Delma_: Well, it wasn't originally an albino…

_Rest of the cast_: (lean away in fear of what the crap she did to that snake)

_Question from Medusa Sparrow-Winchester to Pintel and Ragetti_ – "To Pintel and Ragetti: Why did you agree to mutiny Jack again, when you both said you preferred him as Captain than Barbossa?"

_Ragetti_: Well, I suppose, at the time…

_Pintel_: We didn't really think the whole thing through. We honestly do like Jack more as our Captain.

_Ragetti_: Yeah, we really do.

_Question from Medusa Sparrow-Winchester to Captain Jack Sparrow_ – "To Jack: This has been bugging me for a while, but when did you steal...AHEM...COMMANDEER that map part of the Navigational Charts? Was it before or after the battle between the EITC and the Pirates?"

_Barbossa_: (leans in curiously and intently)

_Jack_: (notices Barbossa out of the corner of his eye) …I don't know what you're talking about.

_Question from Medusa Sparrow-Winchester to James Norrington and Captain Jack Sparrow_ – "To Norrington and I guess, Jack: What did you do the all the treasure Jack had on him (and that was quite a bit) from the Isla de Muerta? And Jack, you really suited that crown. :D"

_Jack_: I thought so to.

_Elizabeth_: (aside) The ego. The ego.

_Jack_: (glares aside to Elizabeth)

_Norrington_: And we threw the gold in the treasury on the ship.

_Question from Medusa Sparrow-Winchester to Lord Cutler Beckett_ – "To Beckett: WHY did you sink the Wicked Wench (presently the Black Pearl) and brand Jack a pirate just because he freed slaves? And you looked like a pansy when waving that fan, Jack looked funny."

_Beckett_: We had a deal. Scores needed to be settled.

_Jack_: Pssshhhh.

_Question from Medusa Sparrow-Winchester to Captain Elizabeth Turner_ – "To Elizabeth (again): Did you get to see your dad again after Will became Captain of the Dutchman?"

_Elizabeth_: No, I haven't been to the other side except the once when we went to save Jack.

_Question from Medusa Sparrow-Winchester to Captain Hector Barbossa_ – "To Barbossa: Do you ever eat red apples? You seem to only eat green ones."

_Barbossa_: I like me apples green.

_Question from Medusa Sparrow-Winchester to Joshamee Gibbs_ – "To Gibbs: Where do you hear all these stories? You should write a book about them."

_Gibbs_: Thanky Missy, and I have. The Pirates Code(crossed out) Guidelines.

_Question from TortugaTourGuide to Captain Jack _Sparrow – "To Jack Sparrow: When did you fall for Elizabeth?"

_Jack_:…never?

_Elizabeth_: (eyeing him menacingly)

_Question from TortugaTourGuide to James Norrington_ – "To James Norrington: Since Elizabeth wouldn't marry you, can I?"

_Norrington_: (looks at Elizabeth without her noticing and sighs)

_Question from saphireKat to Captain Teague_ – "Capt. Teague: Are all of these questions regarding your wife annoying you? (I also apologize if I was one of the 'annoying people'. It wasn't my intention, I assure you.)"

_Teague_: What tipped you off?

_Question from saphireKat to Captain Jack Sparrow_ – "Jack: When was the first time you tried rum? Is it really that good? (I'm not much of a drinker... mostly because I'm under aged, so I'm just curious. xD)"

_Jack_: I don't remember. And yes, rum is good. I like rum. It's good.

_Question from saphireKat to Captain William Turner_ – "Will: *looks at will hard* Have YOU ever tried rum? Seriously, I don't think there was ever a time when you tried it in the PotC movies."

_Will_: Thanks to someone, (glares at Jack) I have, yes. It began on the first ride to Tortuga and it was all down hill from there.

_Jack_: What are you talking about William? I think you turned out alright thanks to me, wouldn't you say Bootstrap?

_Bootstrap_: (grunts)

_Question from saphireKat to Captain William Turner_ – "Another one for Will: Since you're the captian of the Flying Dutchman, is your father your first mate?"

_Will_: (smiles at his father, he smiles back) As a matter of fact yes.

_Question from saphireKat to Ragetti and Pintel_ – "Ragetti and Pintel: What was one of the most funniest things have you guys done together? Tell me, tell me! Please? (pleading eyes) I'll give you rum, since I'm not old enough to drink yet. (holds up bottle)"

_Ragetti_: Well…there was that one night we spent together in that jail cell when-

_Pintel_: (hits Ragetti over the head with a gun he's using as a club) Can't think of anything.

**A/N: To TortugeTourGuide-your other two questions were a little too much in this world versus the PotC world for me to answer.**

**OK guys, I know, I have some explaining to do. I fell out of fanfiction, like a lot. But I suppose you've guessed that. I'm sorry, I do miss it but (and I mean this in the nicest way) I finally got a life. There wasn't really room in it for fanfiction. I've been doing endless musical, plays, dance and vocal lessons, and so much theatre I could go on forever but we'll leave it at: I have made the decision to major in Musical Theatre and I couldn't be happier and I hope you guys will forgive me.**

**I know it's been a long time, I noticed some of you had even changed your fanfic names and I was like "I really have been gone a long time." So sorry again. I just hope you at least come back to read the answers to your questions you asked like a billion trillion years ago. I hope the answers are up to par with previous chapters, I apologize if they're not. I'm rusty. But it felt like it used to and I realized writing this that I've really missed this fic.**

**No promises about a big return and me never going away again because in all honest I probably will. But its summer right now and I have free time. I really hope you guys can find it in your hearts to forgive me and come back to read this fic because rereading reviews I remembered what amazing fans I had. I hope you guys know how much I appreciate you.**

**Please review, critic, send in questions and its nice to be back. :)**


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